Acting
by Vyctori
Summary: He's playing a role, but all he wants to do is to join the audience. (FE7)


Acting  
_Vyctori_

**Disclaimer:** I do not own _Fire Emblem: Rekka no Ken_ or its characters.

**A/N: **Because Nils is not a whiny brat.

-

"_All the world's a stage/ And all the men and women merely players. . . ._" Shakespeare, _As You Like It_.

-

He is sitting in the middle of a field; the grass reaches just past his knees while standing. When he is kneeling, it is to his chest. The setting sun highlights the curve of his wooden flute as he plays, turning the ordinary brown wood into glinting gold. The songs he plays are sad, slow, thoughtful. It isn't the music he uses to encourage the others, for such songs would only cause them to lose their will to fight. Perhaps one or two he plays are noble, suitable for bringing up the spirits of his companions, but for the most part, playing those songs for any save himself would not benefit the army.

It is the evening after a long battle. Lord Eliwood's mercenaries have been traveling for a long time to reach their destination of Bern and Nils is glad for the rest. He is tired, but not only in the purely physical sense like the other soldiers. No, Nils is weary with trying to keep his secret—and that of his sister—safe.

It isn't easy. He has been trying so hard to stay a little aloof from them all, trying to keep to himself. The less time he spends with the others, the less likely they are to find out that he and Ninian are not what they claim to be, but instead are acting out a role.

He thinks about what they aren't telling the others. Even now Nergal wants them back, wants them desperately for the power they hold over the Dragon's Gate. He and Ninian are trapped in a paradox—they are a danger to Lord Eliwood and the others while with them, but perhaps even more of a danger when they are not. Nils has no illusions about their chances of keeping their freedom while they are away from the army. Neither he nor Ninian are fighters. They haven't the ability or the deep will to fight. Both of them hate conflict; they do not wish to learn how to harm others.

Nils knows he at least could possibly hurt someone if there was a need, but he never wants to be in that position. Part of him accuses himself of being a coward and hiding behind the others to let them hurt people for him, but he tries to ignore it. Such thoughts come up often.

Occasionally he thinks of asking someone to teach him to defend himself even a little. He knows Lord Hector would gladly instruct him in the axe if he asked, but. . . . Nils shivers slightly. It is not because of the growing chill from the loss of the sun. Even watching the battles is hard for him. Seeing others die before his eyes. . . . Though he does not know them, and though they are enemies, it is still painful.

For that pain, at least, he is grateful. It helps him keep up his part of a young child. While he may be young in dragons' years, he is still far older than any who now travel with the group. He has the maturity of an adult, but the outward appearance of a child.

Consequently, they treat him as such. Lord Hector especially teases and plays with him when the mood strikes him, as though Nils were no more than ten years old. Even Lady Lyndis and Lord Eliwood talk down to him a little, though he doesn't think they are aware of it. He knows they are far too kind to do such a thing on purpose.

Lord Eliwood. . . . He is a kind man, just like his father. But he is dangerous to them. Not so much to Nils, but to Ninian. It is easy for Nils to see that Ninian is falling in love with him. He's warned her time and time again not to do so, but he thinks it is already too late.

Nils has heard tales of humans and dragons who have fallen in love amidst the conflict of the Scouring. Almost every story has listened to has had a tragic end. He doesn't want that for his sister; he loves her too dearly. But he doesn't know what to do. He wants her to be happy, but would short-term happiness be worth long-term pain? He doesn't know.

There is so much responsibility placed on him to keep quiet and do everything exactly right. Every action and every spoken word is part of the act. He knows he is not ready for such requirements, and though he didn't expressly ask for it, he knows that by crossing the Dragon's Gate, in reality, he did ask for all this.

He wasn't aware at the time, though, that disobeying the rules would have such a cost.

"Nils, where are you?"

It is Lady Lyndis. The sun has vanished now and she is standing with her back to the last remaining colours of the sunset. There is just enough glow remaining in the sky that her body casts a long but fading shadow.

"I'm right here," Nils calls in a light child's voice. He brushes aside all musings as he rises, for he cannot let them affect his acting.

He's an actor, and the world is the stage. But he's trapped in his act, and he has to finish it, no matter how much he just wants to join the audience.

"All right, then." Lady Lyndis walks towards him. She is smiling. "Lowen's just done making our meal." She raises her voice. "You'd better hurry up or Hector will eat everything."

"I heard that!" Hector shouted from farther away. Nils can see him shake his fisted hand, the one free of a dented metal plate.

Nils puts a smile on his face. "Well, I had better hurry up, then!"

He jogs lightly until he reaches Lady Lyndis' side, and then walks with her towards the camp. Against his expression, however, there are his slender fingers, clenched tightly around his flute as the thoughts try to invade. But he can't let them come. They will change his actions, and he won't seem like a child if his face is grave.

For he is an actor and all Elibe is his stage.


End file.
